What 30 Years of Military Wisdom Taught Me in 30 Minutes

How One Conversation with a Two-Star General Transformed My Leadership and Career Advancement

Picture this: You’re 26 years old, sitting in a general’s office, and you have exactly one chance to ask the question that could change your entire career trajectory. Your palms are sweating through your Army Combat Uniform. Your heart is pounding so loud you’re sure he can hear it. You’re a specialist – essentially a junior enlisted soldier – sitting across from a two-star general, and the rank difference is so vast it’s like a high school junior varsity player getting personal advice from LeBron James.

That was me, sitting across from General Potts, watching him write what would become a pivotal letter of recommendation for my officer candidacy. He was inquiring about my goals, my vision for my military career, and my insights on leadership. But I had a question burning inside me, and I kept doing what I can only describe as mental double dutch – jumping in and out, trying to find the courage to interrupt a general officer.

The question that would change everything was deceptively simple: “Sir, what does it take to become a general in the Army?”

What followed was 30 minutes of distilled wisdom from 30 years of military leadership – a masterclass that I’ve spent the years since unpacking, understanding, and ultimately teaching to others. This is the story of that conversation and the profound lessons it contained about leadership, career advancement, and the true meaning of professional success.

The Meeting That Changed Everything

The power dynamic in that room was almost comical in its extremity. Imagine being an entry-level employee suddenly having a one-on-one meeting with the CEO of a Fortune 500 company – except in the military, the hierarchy is even more pronounced. General Potts had stars on his shoulders; I had a specialist rank that looked like an umbrella with a dot. He had decades of combat experience, strategic planning expertise, and had led thousands of soldiers. I had been in the Army for a few years and was just beginning to understand what leadership might mean.

However, there is something about military culture that’s important to understand: despite the rigid hierarchy, a tradition of mentorship exists, where senior leaders invest in the development of junior soldiers who show potential. General Potts wasn’t just writing a recommendation letter; he was genuinely interested in understanding who I was and what I wanted to become.

“Matthews,” he said, looking up from his questions, “what do you want to do? What are your insights? Where do you see yourself going in the Army?”

I answered as best I could, trying to project confidence while internally battling impostor syndrome. But as he asked these questions, my question kept pushing to the surface. The gap from colonel to general is perhaps the most significant promotion in military service. It’s not just another step up the ladder – it’s a fundamental transformation from senior tactical leader to strategic visionary. The percentage of officers who make this leap is minuscule. I had to know: what separated those who made it from those who didn’t?

Finally, I couldn’t hold it back anymore. “Sir,” I said, leaning forward despite every instinct telling me to maintain proper military bearing, “do you mind telling me just what it takes to become a general in the Army? What does it take?”

The question hung in the air. I immediately wondered if I’d overstepped, if a specialist asking a general for his success secrets was too presumptuous. But General Potts leaned back in his chair, and I could see something shift in his expression. He was no longer just processing my application – he was reaching back through decades of experience to answer a question that resonated with him.

The General’s Journey: Understanding the Summit from the Base

What made this moment so powerful wasn’t just the answer General Potts would give, but understanding the journey he had taken to be able to give it. This was a man who had started where I was – a young soldier with ambition and questions. He had climbed every rung of the military ladder, from lieutenant to captain to major to colonel, and then made that astronomical leap to general officer.

Each of those promotions had required not just competence but transformation. The skills that make a good lieutenant – tactical proficiency, physical fitness, small unit leadership – are completely different from those that make a good colonel – strategic thinking, political acumen, organizational leadership. And the skills that elevate a colonel to general? That’s what I was asking about.

General Potts had lived through the evolution of military doctrine, had led soldiers in peacetime and war, and had made decisions that affected thousands of lives and millions of dollars in resources. He had seen leadership theories come and go, had watched promising officers plateau and unlikely candidates soar. All of that experience was being processed as he formulated his answer to my question.

“Matthews,” he finally said, and I could tell he had found the words he was looking for. “Servant leadership.”

The words hung between us, and I’m sure my face betrayed my confusion. This wasn’t what I expected. I was ready for him to talk about strategic brilliance, political maneuvering, or some secret knowledge that only generals possessed. Instead, he gave me two words that sounded almost quaint in their simplicity.

Unpacking Servant Leadership: The Misunderstood Secret

Seeing my confusion, General Potts chuckled – a very human moment that broke through the formal military atmosphere. “I can see you’re not familiar with this concept,” he said, leaning forward now, matching my posture. The rank difference seemed to fade as he shifted into teaching mode.

“Matthews, I got here not on my own volition,” he explained. “The reason I’m here is because of my teams and my organizations. It doesn’t matter what you can do as an individual if you can’t elevate the teams and the organizations that you’re with.”

He went on to explain that every successful step in his career had come not from his achievements but from the success of the units he led. When he was a company commander, it wasn’t his tactical brilliance that got him promoted – it was the fact that his company consistently outperformed others. When he was a battalion commander, his battalion’s readiness rates, retention numbers, and mission success rates spoke louder than any individual action he took.

“The Army doesn’t promote colonels to general because they’re good colonels,” he said. “It promotes them because they’ve proven they can make everyone around them better. They’ve shown they can build organizations that succeed not because of them, but through them.”

This was revolutionary thinking for me. I had always assumed that advancement came from being the best individual performer, from standing out through personal achievement. However, General Pototts informed me that at the highest levels, success stems from making others successful. The math was simple but profound: one person can only achieve so much, but a leader who can elevate a hundred, a thousand, ten thousand others? That impact is exponential.

The 30-Year Lesson in 30 Minutes

What struck me most about this conversation wasn’t just the content but the compression. General Potts had taken three decades of leadership experience – all the successes and failures, the lessons learned in peacetime and combat, the evolution from tactical executor to strategic leader – and distilled it into a principle simple enough to be expressed in two words yet profound sufficient to guide an entire career.

This is the nature of true wisdom: it’s not complicated, but it is deep. Servant leadership as a concept can be explained in minutes, but understanding its implications, overcoming the natural human tendency toward self-focus, and implementing it effectively? That’s a lifetime’s work.

During our remaining time together, General Pototts shared examples from his career:

The time he took a failing battalion and transformed it not by micromanaging but by empowering his company commanders to lead.

How he learned to measure his success not by his evaluations but by how many of his subordinates were promoted and selected for key positions

The moment he realized that being right mattered less than building consensus and commitment among his team.

Why did he spend more time developing future leaders than managing current operations?

Each example reinforced the same theme: sustainable success comes from building others up, not from building yourself up. The generals who lasted, who made a real impact, who left legacies – they were the ones who understood that leadership at the highest levels is about multiplication, not addition.

Applying Wisdom Without Experience: The Young Leader’s Challenge

I left General Potts’ office that day with my head spinning. At 26, with limited leadership experience, I had been handed a framework for success that seemed both crystal clear and impossibly complex. How does one practice servant leadership without the wisdom that comes from experience? How do you elevate others when you’re still figuring out how to elevate yourself?

This is the challenge every young leader faces: you receive wisdom from those who’ve walked the path, but you have to apply it without their experience, without their hard-won intuition, without the credibility that comes from decades of proven success. It’s like being given a master chef’s recipe but having to cook it with beginner-level skills.

What I discovered – through plenty of mistakes that I’ve written about elsewhere – is that applying advanced leadership concepts without experience requires:

Intentional Experimentation: You have to try things knowing you’ll get them wrong. When I first attempted servant leadership, I confused it with doing everything for everyone, creating dependency rather than empowerment. But each failure taught me something essential.

Constant Reflection: After every leadership interaction, I had to ask myself, ‘Did this make my team more capable or more dependent?’ Did I elevate others or just showcase myself? Was I serving or controlling?

Seeking Feedback: Young leaders often avoid feedback because they’re trying to project competence. But growth requires input from those you’re attempting to lead. I had to learn to ask my soldiers: “What do you need from me to be more successful?”

Patience with the Process: Wisdom shared in 30 minutes takes years to fully understand and decades to master. I had to accept that I wouldn’t immediately transform into the leader General Potts described, but I could make progress every day.

Paying It Forward: Becoming a Mentor to New Leaders

Years later, as a platoon leader myself, I found myself on the other side of similar conversations. New lieutenants would arrive, fresh from their commissioning sources, full of the same ambition and confusion I had felt. They would pull me aside and ask, “Matthews, what advice can you give me?”

I would reflect on that conversation with General Potts and try to distill my hard-won lessons into digestible wisdom. I would tell them:

“These soldiers don’t need you to have all the answers. They’ve been in combat, they’ve lost friends, they’ve learned lessons in the hardest possible way. What they need is a leader who values their experience, who sees their potential, and who creates space for them to contribute and grow.”

I would share the same servant leadership principle, but add my journey of misunderstanding and correction. I would tell them about the difference between serving and controlling, between empowering and enabling. I would try to help them skip some of my mistakes while understanding they would need to make their own.

The beautiful thing about mentorship is that it reinforces the very principle General Pototts taught me. By focusing on developing these new leaders, by measuring my success through their growth, I was practicing servant leadership in its purest form. Each lieutenant who succeeded under my guidance was a validation of the wisdom shared in that 30-minute conversation years before.

The Enduring Power of Compressed Wisdom

Looking back now, I’m struck by how that single conversation continues to influence not just my leadership but my entire approach to life and work. General Potts gave me more than career advice – he gave me a philosophy that transforms how I see success, relationships, and impact.

The principle of servant leadership extends far beyond military rank or corporate hierarchies. It applies to:

Parenting: Success isn’t raising obedient children but empowering capable adults

Teaching: The best educators measure success by their students’ achievements, not their lectures

Entrepreneurship: Great founders build companies that can thrive without them

Community Leadership: Impact comes from mobilizing others, not doing everything yourself

The conversation also taught me the power of mentorship moments. We often think development happens through formal programs, extensive training, or years of experience. But sometimes, the right words at the right time from the right person can accelerate decades of learning into minutes of insight.

For those seeking their military-to-civilian translation of these principles, or anyone navigating their career journey, remember:

Seek Out Your General Potts: Find leaders who’ve walked the path you aspire to travel and ask them the hard questions

Compress Learning When Possible: Look for the principles behind the practices, the wisdom beneath the success

Apply with Humility: Understand that receiving wisdom and applying it are two different challenges

Pay It Forward: The ultimate validation of leadership lessons is successfully passing them on

That 30-minute conversation with General Potts continues to pay dividends years later. It transformed how I led my platoon, how I develop leaders today, and how I measure success in every area of life. Sometimes, the most powerful leadership development doesn’t come from extensive programs or complex theories – it comes from a senior leader taking the time to share hard-won wisdom with someone just starting their journey.

The question is: Are you ready to seek out these conversations? And more importantly, are you prepared to have them with those coming behind you?

Lavar Matthews transforms organizations through the power of servant leadership principles learned in military service and proven in corporate applications. His mentorship programs and leadership workshops help emerging leaders compress decades of learning into actionable insights.